Michael wishes he weren't so trained to want to please Alex that when he hears him thanking him like that, every part of his brain perks up like a dog who's been given a treat, eager to accept. "Yeah, yeah," he waves it off, trying to ignore his pink cheeks.
It's still not long before they hit the junkyard and Michael's trying hard not to jump out and run. He controls himself, barely, and waits for Alex to exit, to see if he needs help.
As they arrive Alex just sit there in silence looking out and around the car. His body is stiff as stress starts building up inside. For a brief moment the risk stares him into the face. It's more than just being found out. It's his job, his pension. He doesn't want a Chapter 15 dishonorable discharge. He then takes a deep breath, getting his breathing under control. His heart slows down as he opens the door and puts down both his feet. He holds on to the car as he shifts his weigh over to his functional leg, pulling himself out of the car as on routine. Stabilizing himself against the car he glances over at Guerin, his frame tense as in awaiting of some Iraqi terrorist would come around the corner with a bomb taped to his chest. "Guerin, can you hand me my crutch please?"
"What, I'm not crutch enough for you?" he quips, but he's already moving to grab the crutch, sliding it under Alex's armpit, a worried look in his eyes.
He hates that Alex is hurting, hates that he's got to deal with this shit because of what happened with them. It'll never make him look differently at the man, but he still hates how he's hurt. "Are you okay?" he asks, softly.
The quip made his eyes light up as he sent a smile Guerin's way. Keeping himself stern around Guerin wasn't easy. Never had. "That would imply you're hindering me in some way. Which you clearly aren't. You're my support, not crutch," he said with a grateful smile as he grabbed the offered crutch. Leaning to his side he supported himself so that he could walk easier. He probably could walk around without the crutch but it was comforting in a way." I'm fine Guerin. Nervous maybe, but fine."
Michael still doesn't know what, exactly to do. He wants to help, but he doesn't? Because he doesn't want to imply that Alex is helpless when he knows he's the furthest thing from it.
"I mean, you don't have to be nervous." If Michael knows anything, he knows that. "I already know that there's nothing that you could do that would disappoint me." And that, he knows, is the truth.
"I'm not nervous for that reason," he said with a shake of his head. He's calm. But he's still tense and on guard. It's instincts kicking in. He'll be fine once they're in the Airstream and out of the open.
Michael frowns, because he's not entirely sure what reason he could have for being nervous, but he still opens the door to the trailer and nods inside for Alex to follow, wanting to have this conversation in private, if they can.
"Come on," is all he says, stripping off his shirt once he's in there, to change into something cleaner.
And Alex isn't going to tell him. He does however visibly relaxes as they enters the trailer and away from any prying eyes. Before Michael manages to put on a shirt though, Alex embraces him from behind, wanting to feel Guerin's skin against his own. He kisses the nape of Micahel's neck before moving to rest his head against the others shoulder. He just wanna hold him close for a bit to calm his nerves, his fingers moving down the naked torso.
Michael can't help his grin, sincere as he leans back into the warmth of Alex's body at his back. He tucks his chin into his shoulder, only able to see a little of Alex's face from here, but loving it. "Hey," he murmurs, voice low. "Is this why you wanted to come take a ride with me? Just to curl up like this?"
"Shut up," he snicked and pulled Guerin closer to him. "It's not a bad thing to want you for myself for a little bit. Drinking. Cuddling. Fucking. Whatever comes to mind. I've ten years of catch-up to do," he said as he circled his hands over Guerin's stomach.
Michael isn't going to argue that, grinning even as Alex pulls him in, telling him to shut up. He turns a little and lets his eyes slip over Alex, his heart pounding as he thinks about how badly he wants those things. "Which of those three you plan to start with?"
He traces his thumb over Alex's lip, his breath catching as he exhales, needing him so badly.
"Let's start by drinking. That's why we came here after all isn't it?" he responded with a sweetness to his tone. He knew which part he'd prefer aswell but he didn't want to start with fucking. It would cut the evening short and he really just wanna be with Michael. Feel like he could live in some sort of normalcy with the other man. So far all they really have had was quickies.
Michael's little huff of frustration is far from cute, but he's annoyed because he doesn't want Alex to stop kissing him and he's reaching out for him like he can somehow compel him not to stop. "Alex," he whines, and he doubts that little burst of immaturity will help either.
He sighs and gives him a long look, realizing that yeah, he should live up to his words. "Beer's okay, right?"
He lets out an amused huff and wraps his arms around Alex neck. "I'm not leaving, I wanna make this a full night. All inclusive," he said with a smile and kissed Alex back.
Michael might as well have hearts in his eyes for the way that he's looking at Alex right now, grabbing him by the hips to haul him in for a kiss that's much more desperate than he wants it to be, giving a happy little moan before forcing himself to ease back.
"Beer," he says. "I'm getting you a beer," he insists, and heads to the small bar fridge to do exactly that.
The desperate kiss leaves him breathless and unsteady on his (1) feet. He catches himself against Guerin, not being able to compensate quick enough for the quick movement. He has a ways to go still before he'll back to normal. Not that he ever will get back to normal.
"Yeah, beer sounds nice," he says as he catches his breath.
Michael makes sure he's there for Alex, glad that he can multitask as he wraps an arm around his waist and gets a beer with the other. Even when it seems like Alex has his balance back, he doesn't let him go, handing him the beer with a fond smile.
"It's just the damn metal clump I got for a leg. Don't worry," he says and takes a long sip from the beer, glad to have Guerin to lean on. Not that he currently needs it but it's good to know he can.
Michael's always gonna worry about him, that's kind of the problem. He lets his palm slide up and down Alex's back, rubbing it as gently as he can. "What if I don't wanna stop worrying?" he asks out loud, with a shrug, like he can't help himself asking.
"Then your life will be miserable, worrying over me all the time," Alex replied and brushed his thumb against Guerin's cheek. He knew the it came from a good place and deep down he was touched. But he was still haunted by what had been drilled into him since basic training. Don't show weakness. Trust your battle buddy. That sort of thing. It probably had stunted him permanently.
"Nah, not if it's you, not if it's me getting the chance," Michael replies, as easy as breathing to make that promise, staring at him with affection as Alex touches him so easily.
God, he loves him, and he wants everything with him, but he takes a drag from the bottle of beer to try and hide that, because it's a lot.
He grabs one of the beers and takes a sip of it. He felt touched by Michael's words. But at the same time, that was a big promise to make. He couldn't promise that their life together wouldn't be hell. They both had their issues, their problems.
Michael doesn't want to step back, but he figures he should give some distance. He licks his lips and drags himself to sit on the counter of the Airstream, tipping his head to the side to watch Alex, still so nervous about sending him running.
He's not, though. "Besides what else am I doing with my life, huh?"
"You could do a lot with your life," he said with a shrug. "You don't have to stick around this shithole of a town. Explore the world," he said and leaned against the wall, deep in thought.
Michael shrugs, because no, he probably can't. Getting a passport requires paperwork he doesn't have and what's the point of learning things, when he could teach them about it.
"What if I only want one thing?" he asks, raising his brow at Alex, questioningly. "What if there's only one thing in the world I really wanna enjoy?"
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Date: 2019-06-01 05:29 pm (UTC)It's still not long before they hit the junkyard and Michael's trying hard not to jump out and run. He controls himself, barely, and waits for Alex to exit, to see if he needs help.
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Date: 2019-06-06 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-07 11:31 pm (UTC)He hates that Alex is hurting, hates that he's got to deal with this shit because of what happened with them. It'll never make him look differently at the man, but he still hates how he's hurt. "Are you okay?" he asks, softly.
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Date: 2019-06-08 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-09 10:24 pm (UTC)"I mean, you don't have to be nervous." If Michael knows anything, he knows that. "I already know that there's nothing that you could do that would disappoint me." And that, he knows, is the truth.
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Date: 2019-06-09 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-10 08:47 pm (UTC)"Come on," is all he says, stripping off his shirt once he's in there, to change into something cleaner.
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Date: 2019-06-10 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-11 02:34 am (UTC)"We could've done this in the car."
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Date: 2019-06-14 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-15 12:48 am (UTC)He traces his thumb over Alex's lip, his breath catching as he exhales, needing him so badly.
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Date: 2019-06-19 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-20 05:56 pm (UTC)He sighs and gives him a long look, realizing that yeah, he should live up to his words. "Beer's okay, right?"
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Date: 2019-06-20 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-21 09:46 pm (UTC)"Beer," he says. "I'm getting you a beer," he insists, and heads to the small bar fridge to do exactly that.
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Date: 2019-06-21 11:37 pm (UTC)"Yeah, beer sounds nice," he says as he catches his breath.
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Date: 2019-06-23 02:53 am (UTC)"You okay?" he asks, voice soft and subdued.
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Date: 2019-06-23 02:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-25 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-29 11:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-29 05:26 pm (UTC)God, he loves him, and he wants everything with him, but he takes a drag from the bottle of beer to try and hide that, because it's a lot.
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Date: 2019-06-29 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-30 07:57 pm (UTC)He's not, though. "Besides what else am I doing with my life, huh?"
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Date: 2019-07-01 12:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-02 12:11 am (UTC)"What if I only want one thing?" he asks, raising his brow at Alex, questioningly. "What if there's only one thing in the world I really wanna enjoy?"
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