(no subject)

[littleorphanalien]

It's been a rough week.

Michael's not back to the same state he was in a year ago after he'd been kidnapped, but he's still spending a lot more time in bed than awake. Magnus is gone and that's fine, it's whatever. He's been abandoned so many times before and it's not like they were best friends. It's just that Magnus helped him recover memories of his mother. He helped him create a plan for his hand, for kids in the future. He even found the doctor for him.

He hasn't really had someone like that in his life that he trusts outside of Alex and Caleb, and now he's just, he's gone. Asshole.

So he's been sulking, and yeah, he gets up to make sure breakfast is made and Luke gets to school, but then he goes back to bed instead of fiddling with the drones. He knows Alex is going to call him on it, probably soon, but it's like there's a thundercloud over his head that he can't escape, and it's just weighing him down and exhausting him.

He misses Magnus, and he's not sure what to do about it, other than curl up in bed with a book, trying to read the feelings away.

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[littleorphanalien]

Michael doesn't exactly completely focus on the leg, but he feels like he can drag his brain out of the submerged mire of heaviness to at least think about sand, the prosthetic, and Alex's muscles. It's a math problem, really, and it's better than sulking about Magnus.

"Yeah?" he asks, a bit wary, because it kind of sounds a little like Alex is humoring him. "You mean that? Or is it bullshit to make me feel better."

[unendurable]

Alex stops, turning to face Michael. He stares at him for a minute, frowning though he reaches out to run his hand along Michael's arm.

"I'm telling you that because we haven't talked about it and it's truly amazing to me. It's light and there's no pressure and there's no rubbing and for someone that thought they were living with that for the rest of their life, it means a lot to me."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael is chastened a little by the reply, because he knows it's second nature for him to push and push, but he doesn't meant to do it with Alex. It's just second nature sometimes, as guilty as he is about it.

"Sorry," he admits, voice low, but, "I'm glad it's working," he says, giving Alex a nervous smile, wanting him to know how much he's glad for it. "You know I'd make you another if it wasn't working, but I'm glad I don't have to."

[unendurable]

"Michael, no. Don't be sorry," he whispers, reaching out and taking Michael's hand. He draws him in a bit, and kisses him softly. "I just want you to know that I wouldn't hide if there was a problem because I will do anything to live with as little pain as I can. You've given me that."

And for Alex that is so important to him as well. He wants Michael to understand what he's given Alex. So much he hadn't thought he'd ever have. Just for his leg alone, but so much more.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael steps into the kiss, breathing in deeply as he takes a little longer than he might normally to close his eyes and just let the feeling of kissing Alex wash over him. Even when he doesn't feel right, this does, and he knows that it's something that he'll never take for granted.

He lets out a quiet noise, a peaceful one, and gives Alex a ghost of a smile. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without Magnus," he admits bluntly. "He helped me get past a lot that's in my own head, just because he could go in there with me."

[unendurable]

Darrow had snatched them from their home and brought them to a place that has, in Alex's mind, given them everything. Things he doesn't think they will ever have in Roswell. Not just things like their family with Luke. But everything.

Here they have a home, a family, work they love, and while there's those they miss, Alex is never sure they could have this back home. It's not something he's in a hurry to find out either. Not if it means risking everything they have.

"I know," he whispers softly, stroking his hand over Michael's heart. "And I'm sorry he's gone. Just... you have to remember that you got this far because of him, and he'd be glad for that."

[littleorphanalien]

He would be proud of him, wouldn't he? Michael's not really used to dealing with things in a healthy way. He's too stubborn, too emotional, too fraught. He doesn't know how to take things like progress and move forward in a healthy way.

Still, for Alex, everything is different. He closes his eyes when his hand is over his heart, an achingly needy noise in his throat bringing him closer.

"I got this far for you," he clarifies. "Magnus just helped me along the way."

[unendurable]

"And I'm still here, Michael."

He wraps his arms around him, not caring that they're on the edge of the walking path, that anyone else might be around. All that matters is offering Michael what comfort he can.

"And I always will be. I'm so proud of you, Michael, and so proud of everything you've done. You are an amazing man. I want you to remember that. From me."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael adjusts the leash around his fingers, so Bopp won't bolt off and take him with her (though, it'd be a hilarious thing to see, faceplanting into the sand, which is why he's working hard to avoid something that could be recorded).

"I didn't get my shit together until here, you should only be proud of me now," he grunts, because it's still hard for him to accept any kind of generosity or kindness.

[unendurable]

"Michael, no. You have been through hell and back for so long and you're still here, you're still going strong."

And to Alex that means so much.

"And now you're getting your shit together, as you said it, and I'm so proud of who Michael Guerin, my husband, is."

[littleorphanalien]

That's what he needs to hear. He doesn't really give a shit who thinks what of him, but if Alex is proud of him, if Alex loves him, if Alex thinks he's doing well, then it all matters the most.

They've come a long way since being idiot teens in the back of his truck.

"I got one idea that could make me feel better," he admits. "Stronger, even," he confesses, his mind stuck on that moment and latching onto the idea.

[unendurable]

Stroking Michael's back, knowing they'll have to move soon for the sake of Bopp wanting to do things but for now they have one another together and they're working through things. He's so glad they've gotten to that point where they can work on these things together.

"Oh? What's that?" He looks hopeful and excited for what Michael thinks might help.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael lets his fingers loosen the leash, so Bopp can go barrelling around on the sand. He knows that their dog is a bit of a suck, so it's not like Bopp will run away, and Michael's got a nice little patch of sand and a blanket.

He hooks his fingers into the hem of Alex's shirt to pull him in, nodding to the blanket. "Let's make out," he encourages, which will distract him and keep him happy, so everyone wins.

[unendurable]

Smiling as Bopp takes off to run, knowing she won't go too far even if she wants to. She never strays to the water without others and she is more a sniff and run away with strangers than harassing them.

So when Michael makes that suggestion, he can't help but love that. Grinning as he lets Michael pull him closer and down onto the blanket.

"You know, I think that is the best idea."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael figures Bopp will trot back to them and interrupt them when they're making out, because she has that kind of timing. It's what Michael needs right now, though, namely that achingly close intimacy with Alex that he can't get (and doesn't want) from anyone else.

He tangles their legs together, sliding his palm into the back of Alex's pants to grab at his ass, pulling him in. "It's no back of the truck," he exhales, "but it's not bad, right?"

[unendurable]

Laying there next to Michael, it feels like it's a dozen years in the past at the same time. Two kids in love and scared and trying to just hold on to feeling amazing. Yet now they have it forever. They're in love and happy and all that fear is gone.

Grinning at Michael as he wriggles in a bit closer to him at that grip. "Not bad at all. Maybe a bit more sand where we might not want it, but not bad," he says, leaning in and kissing Michael. Slow. Intense. Perfect.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's not going at this the way he did at seventeen. It's not that he's not eager, it's just that the grief has kind of stunted him a little and he's feeling a little worn out, like someone took a spoon and went at his heart.

Still, he grabs at Alex's hair to hold him, bring him closer, and kiss him desperately, letting out a needy little sound as he deepens the kiss, trying to ignore the rest of the world. It's always been good when it's just him and Alex and right now, that's all he wants to focus on.

[unendurable]

Alex knows he can't fix it and he hates that. He hates there's little he can do for Michael right now, no matter how much he wants to make it better for him. Yet he knows that, in the end, the one thing he can do for him. He can be there, and offer what comfort he can.

So he kisses him, slow and deep as he tangles his fingers into Michael's curls and holds him close. This he can offer, and he can be there for him and do all he can.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael shifts a little, hooking his knee around Alex's leg to pull him in a little closer, rocking his hips up against him. He's breathless as he eases back from the deep kiss, only to breathe, and when he slides back in, he gives a tiny thoughtful noise.

"We could've done this in the truck," he admits, and then he's in for another kiss.

[unendurable]

The world explodes in lust and love in that moment like a myriad of tiny glittery fireworks falling all about them. It's how kissing Michael has always been. Yet there's something about laying here together like this that brings back memories and he can focus on the good of them because of how far they've come along.

"Would you have just gone out to the truck to make out if I asked?" He's not sure with Michael if it would have worked or not in that moment.

[littleorphanalien]

"I'd make out with you anywhere," Michael vows, because that's one of the easiest truths in the world. He cups the back of Alex's neck as he coaxes Alex in a little closer, not aggressive with his kisses so much as something steady and slow and sweet.

His eyes are half-lidded as he stares fondly at Alex. "Do you wanna go to the truck?" he asks, because it's not that far. "Or the Airstream?"

[unendurable]

Wriggling a bit closer, pressing his body to Michael's and loving how good that feels. Sliding a hand over Michael's chest, coming up to cup the side of his neck. Leaning into those kisses with a soft sigh, moaning tenderly as he exhales.

"We could. Means I could touch you more than I can out here. I mean, if you're in the mood," he murmurs softly.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael lets his eyes shift over to the truck. It definitely does afford more privacy, but then Bopp gets shut up in the house again, and given how much time in the house Michael's had lately, he thinks that's not fair. "Nah," he says, cupping Alex's cheek. "Let's just be idiot teenagers making out."

He's also not sure if the mood is striking him yet, but he's always down for a steamy, slow makeout.

[unendurable]

There's something about Michael choosing to stay there, out in public, that seems right in that moment. It is him trying to reconnect with the world on his own terms. Just the two of them and Bopp, making out and just enjoying being together.

He loves it here. The ocean air, the gulls, just living here by the beach.

Kissing Michael, stroking his fingers along his cheek. "I love it here," he whispers. "I know it's rough when things like this happen, but the chances we've had here? It means everything to me."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael shivers, both from the breeze off the water and the way Alex is touching him. Even with all the shit he's feeling, he also has to admit that it's only because he got the highs of friendship. "I never would've opened up to someone like Magnus back home," he admits.

This place is giving him that, like nowhere else has. "I don't know if you noticed, but my friends in Roswell basically started and stopped with Max, Isobel, and Noah," he scoffs. "And Noah turned out to be..." He makes a sour face, an old wound he hasn't revisited lately and needs to seal up instantly.