(no subject)

[littleorphanalien]

Fuck. Why doesn't he have better clothes?

Michael reaches for his glass of whiskey and knocks it back, throwing the sweater he's wearing onto the bed as he reaches for another one. It's cream colored and soft, but is it too casual? If he wears this, does he have to take off the jeans? He unbuckles his giant silver belt buckle, but leaves it hanging open.

Then he goes for the booze again, but stops because they're about to go to Luke's parent-teacher interview and if he shows up smelling of liquor, they might revoke the fostering papers. "Alex," Michael calls out to him, pleading. "Help," is a strangled, stubborn thing, like he doesn't want to admit that he needs help figuring out how to look like a respectable father figure and not just the town's dirty mechanic.

It's just never come up before.

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[unendurable]

Michael isn't the only one worrying about this. Alex has picked out his clothes three times, made sure he's got his crutch and that it's in good shape. He might not nee it with the new prosthetic, but he doesn't want them thinking he's taking chances or being unsafe.

He tries to think about these when he was a kid, but they all ended up ending with beatings and his father yelling and it's not sitting well with him thinking about it.

But he's got on a nice button down and jeans and his hair is smoothed back as best he can with the madness of it, less pompadour and more casual.

He hears that call and he comes rushing as fast as he can.

"Michael?! What's wrong?"

[littleorphanalien]

By the time Alex gets to him, Michael's down to his boxer-briefs again, gesturing uselessly to a giant pile of clothes on the bed, giving him a helpless look, knowing that he's only going to spiral and get worse before it gets better.

"What's a person supposed to wear for these things?" he asks, feeling raw and nervous and like a fraud, because he doesn't know. He grabs at his ridiculous long, frizzy hair. "And what do I do about these?"

[unendurable]

Alex stops at the door, staring at Michael and then the pile and then back to Michael. He's not going to smile, he really isn't, though it's tempting.

"Michael, stop. You're overthinking it. You're a good parent, and you have the proof of that," he says, coming over and looking over his clothes. He picks up the beige sweater, laying it out and then a pair of darker jeans, seeing how they look together.

"You're a responsible person and a good member of society here. We have a house," he points out. "And a business. You can do this."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael is still on edge, his nerves vibrating in a way that's making his leg bounce. He reaches for the acetone, and then after a sip of that, realizes that acetone-breath won't be any better than liquor. He sits on the bed beside the clothes, staring at Alex with wide eyes.

"I don't have a history here, not before last year, and I was a mechanic before the business. And what if they're prejudiced against men who love other men?" It's clear he's been allowing himself to go the worst case scenario. "Alex, what if they meet us and they want to take him from us?"

[unendurable]

"Michael, they knew our life, our history, and that we were together when we took him in. Our life has only gotten better since then. We now have a house that isn't the apartments supplied here. We have a business with incorporation papers filed with the city. We have contracts being worked on for our first job. I've got a career started here as well. We're good parents, who have worked to give him a good life. They're going to see that."

He comes over, gently cupping Michael's face and lightly running his thumbs along Michael's cheekbones. "Michael, we're going to do great. Do you know why? Because we're good parents, and we have an amazing kid we're raising. And they're going to tell us that. Well the he's amazing part, not us."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael is kneading at the sheets with his mangled hand, feeling the pain of it and the worry eating away at him. He leans up to have Alex kiss him, soaking it up with desperation, because he needs it. He's still freaking out, and that's killing him.

"He is amazing," Michael praises, trying to let that soothe him. He holds out his hand for the sweater, his eyes wide and sad as he stares up at him. "We've got thirty minutes, right?" It's only a five minute drive, so he'd better get moving.

[unendurable]

"We're right on time," he says, giving him the sweater as he leans down, kissing his brow. "Michael, you would give your life for him. We would do anything for him. He loves us and we love him. Unless he's acting up at school and we didn't know that, then it's going to be fine."

And he can't imagine that's the case from Luke. He's a good kid. Really amazing, in his book.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael tugs on the sweater, smoothing it out carefully when it feels like it's not sitting right. He stands, grabbing a pair of jeans, then black trousers, then his jeans again, thinking that they're dark wash and they look appropriate. At least, he thinks they do.

He pulls them on and looks around for his belt, which he can't find (and is probably buried in his pile of clothes). "Yeah, and if he is acting out? Or they want us to be stricter, I've never done this, I never thought I would do this."

[unendurable]

Alex stands by the mirror, watching Michael as he gets ready. Starting at him, looking so handsome in Alex's thoughts, just caught up in how beautiful he is for a minute.

Then he looks up at that question, moving to get to the belt that he'd seen. Pulling it out, he holds it out to Michael.

"We find out what he's doing to act out and we talk to him about it. We tell them we'll work on it and help him. We'll be there for him, and do all we can for him. Just as we have been, Michael."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's still fretting, the way he's moving and twitching. He reaches back for the belt and slides it into the loops, staring at the dark jeans and then his hair, gripping at the long ends of it. "I look like a fucking sheepdog," he grumbles, not even knowing if he owns gel.

He usually just conditions it and leaves it be, now he needs to look presentable. He turns, big needy eyes levelled at Alex, because he needs his help. Again.

[unendurable]

"Michael, sit down where you can find a spot on the bed. Let me help," he says, moving to the bathroom to get the gel he uses for gigs. "It'll be quick and easy and I think you'll like it," he says, loving how worried he is about this. It's beautiful and endearing.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael shoves at the pile of his clothes (mostly t-shirts and jeans, button-downs and the one suit he'd hauled out as if he might need to get that dressed up). He snorts and looks at the gel. "Quick and easy and I'll like it is usually what you say to me before we have a quickie," he deadpans.

Looking to the gel, he suspects that might not be the case here.

"You gonna make me look professional?"

[unendurable]

"I never say it's easy, I say you're easy," he corrects, trying to help him relax as he gets the gel on his hands and start finger combing it through his curls. It's not just for his hair, but to try and help him relax as well.

"You'll look serious and professional enough to be a working dad. Okay? Does that work?"

[littleorphanalien]

"I am easy, for you," he agrees, tipping his head back to give Alex a big smirk, all mischief and delight. He takes deep breaths like the therapist has encouraged him to do at times, trying to calm his anxiety before it gets the better of him.

"Okay," he agrees, purposefully. "I will look serious and professional and like a Dad." Saying that makes something strangled hit in his throat. "I never told you, that when I fell for you, when I fell in love with you, it made me want these big things. To become an agricultural engineer, to have a couple of kids, start a dad band..."

He peers at Alex, eyes filled with love.

"And you made me realize that I wasn't superior to the whole human race. Cuz there you were, and you're better than I could ever be."

[unendurable]

Alex smiles at that, knowing it's mutual. They truly are easy for one another, and he doesn't see that changing. They are happy and starting a beautiful life together. A life with a kid they love and they are working so hard like this to try and help one another get through something that has never truly been easy or good for them in their youth but doing better for Luke.

He falls quiet though when Michael makes that admission. Staring down into Michael's eyes, his fingers still buried in soft curls. Leaning down, he kisses him so gently but there's so much emotion in that kiss.

"Guess we're working on that though, huh?" Another tender kiss. "I don't know if I believe that, but I will try every day to be the man you see me as."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael stares right back, feeling raw and vulnerable, and knowing that he still doesn't measure up. His go-to remains anger and smashing things to pieces, but Alex loves. He loves and forgives. He's forgiven and loved Michael, and that's more than he expected.

He leans into that kiss, even if a stupid part of his brain warns him that he shouldn't go into the interview with kiss swollen lips or a bulge in his pants.

Easing back, he tips his chin up, his lips pouting slightly from the angle of how he's looking at Alex, curved downwards, even if he's considering him and he's not upset. "You made me believe that there was a home for me here, and that humanity wasn't so bad," he praises. "I love you for it."

[unendurable]

Alex's fingers stroke through Michael's hair, more stroking and caressing than he is fixing his hair. Needing to touch him, wanting to be near him. He just wants to be there and show him that it's okay, that he was loved and cherished.

Leaning in, he tenderly kisses his brow.

"There is always a home for you with me, Michael, and you will always be loved and taken cared of and cherished" He cups his face tenderly, staring into his eyes. "I love you, Michael. "I love our home and our life. Thank you for giving me enough chances to get it right."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael reaches up to test his hair, seeing if the curls spring back, or if they're going to be stuck in place. It seems to be fairly loose, and he gives Alex a slightly nervous look, because he's still wary about going in to this interview.

Not for Luke, never for Luke, but for himself.

"Hey, we're getting it right together, right?" he asks roughly. He uses his powers to float the keys to his palm, squeezing them firmly. "Ready?"

[unendurable]

"Michael, we aren't just living here. We have a life. A life where we're happy and we have an amazing life. One that we're sharing with Luke. No one here knows your past, and the man everyone knows here is an amazing, strong, caring man."

He takes Michael's hand. "Now, come on. Let's show them who Luke has raising him and how good a life we're giving him."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael nods rapidly, his hands on the keys tight as he stands, wrapping his arm around Alex to coax him out of the house, still in disbelief that they're going to this. "If I end up freezing up in there, just take the lead from me, okay?" he pleads quietly.

He exhales and heads to the driver's seat of the car, grateful to have that to focus on, because otherwise he suspects he'll go crazy with hypotheticals that won't even come to pass.

[unendurable]

Alex stays close to Michael, stroking his back and trying to offer him whatever comfort he can to Michael. He wants him to stay calm, to enjoy himself because this is a big deal. But it's an awesome big deal.

"Deep breaths, Michael. They're going to love you."

And he believes that because there's nothing he wouldn't do for Luke.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael is glad to drive, letting his hands squeeze the wheel and focus on getting to Luke's school, which has always sounded a little more like the kind of school that Michael should have been in when he was younger -- a place not so fixed on the concept of being in the same cohort and more on what you knew.

He's silent, though, until they park, because he's not as convinced they will love him, but Alex believes in him and who is he to argue?

When they park, he checks the time. Seven minutes to go. Staring at Alex, he reaches for the notebook in the console between them. "Just in case we need to take notes," he explains.

[unendurable]

Alex is thinking back to these when he was a kid, that he feared his father's reaction, that if he didn't do the right things, he'd pay for it. He wanted to ensure that Luke never had a life like that where he had to worry about such things.

"Good idea. If there's anything we can help, that way we won't forget." Not that he thinks they would, but he's supporting Michael in anyway he can. "Come on then. Let's go hear how well he's doing."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael tucks the notebook in his back pocket along with a pen, getting out of the car and locking up as he heads to the other side to offer an arm out to Alex, cautious and careful, not wanting to rush him along.

"Yeah. He's a good kid, isn't he?" Michael praises. "Shit, I haven't ruined him with any profanity or dropped a car on him," he says, darkly joking.

[unendurable]

Alex smiles, liking when Michael helps him with such things. Loving that he's there for him and helps him. He used to worry about the assistance, about not doing things himself but that's one thing he's been learning. About how much they can be there and help one another.

"He is an amazing kid, and he's learning music and computers and building drones and interplanetary relations," he points out. "And no, you haven't ruined him with anything. You've helped him."