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[littleorphanalien]

Even though he's back to work, something's different.

Michael can't put his finger on it. Nothing's changed, other than the guys giving him a wide berth for a while when he first gets back. It's just weird, like he's not as satisfied with the job as he used to be. He still likes working on the cars, but it starts feeling repetitive, boring, and just...not what he wants to do. It's really highlighted when he makes the drone for Luke's birthday and for the first time since before the kidnapping, he really feels alive.

So that's been bothering him, a lot, and it's on his mind as the work day finishes and he heads to the desk to collect Alex.

He waits for the last customer to finish up, hanging back with amusement as he watches the guy try and flirt with Alex, clearly trying to work up some courage, and when he goes, he slaps a piece of paper with a phone number down before bolting.

They're the last in the shop to close up, which means Michael feels pretty safe perching on the desk, eyeing Alex with a mock-serious look. "We might need to have a talk to you about flirting with the customers," he drawls.

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[unendurable]

There's moments when Alex fears he's dreaming all of this. Maybe not the years of working in the desert and how lonely and painful that had been, but Darrow. How happy he is. How happy they are. It creeps into the back of his head, late at night, that the prison hadn't gone as they remember, and if that's the case, he doesn't care.

Just so long as he gets to keep this.

"I saw it in this small shop a few weeks ago. Maybe it was dumb worrying that I would be... I didn't want to accidentally insult you, Michael. You've lived with your injury longer than I have but I know what it's like having people draw attention to it. But... that's why I love it. Because it's the ship," he says. "And part of a meteorite. That only seemed right."

He pushes himself back up onto the couch, and then gets the ring out of the box. Unclasping the necklace, he slides it around Michael's neck, closing it easily. But he stays leaning in close to Michael, cupping his cheek. "I love you," he whispers, kissing him tenderly.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael stares at it, running his thumb constantly over the smoothness of it, stuck staring in awe and joy, because it's still more beautiful than he ever would have expected, and it puts a lot of fears to rest that Alex doesn't want this. This isn't spur of the moment, confirmed when Alex continues speaking.

This is thoughtful and for him, specifically.

He leans forward to let Alex put the ring on him, eyes cloudy with tears as he leans in to kiss Alex back, cupping his cheek a little desperately. "I love you too," he mumbles, relieved that he has this, and he reaches up to grasp his mangled hand around the ring, holding tight.

When he eases back, he's nervous but, feeling much more confident. "Maybe," he says. "Maybe after I get the surgery, I'll be able to wear it." And if not, then maybe he can get a tattoo of some kind.

[unendurable]

Alex finds himself even more madly in love with Michael than he's ever felt before. To see him so happy about his ring, to be so glad for it, that commitment to their future, and it means the world to him.

His hand covers Michael's hand, his thumb brushing over his ring finger. "Maybe so. If not, it still means the same. I don't need it on your finger, because I know what's in your heart," he says, smiling. "And you can mock me for that but it's true, Michael. I honestly believe that. Just like I believe in you," he says.

And it's true. He's loved the idea of being with Michael since he was a teen but this is so much more amazing than anything he's known.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael grins at him, feeling so grateful for what they have, in a way he doesn't think can be described in words, not really. He loves it, and he never wants to lose a single moment of it. He laughs and presses their hands over his heart, with the ring under it. "You're in my heart," he murmurs, and then leans in, on his knees, as he pins Alex to the couch.

"And most nights, you're also in my arms, and my ass," he whispers, biting a kiss against his lower lip teasingly. "And I love you."

[unendurable]

Smiling as he leans back, his free hand sliding over Michael's side, loving having him close, adoring this man he's going to marry.

Especially when he says things like that.

Laughing as he leans up slightly into that kiss with a groan. "I love you too... and your ass," he adds, because he can't let Michael get away with saying that without a response.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael loves it, leaning in a little closer, kissing him as hard as he can, enjoying the way that Alex is splayed out for him so beautifully. "You know, we shouldn't," he points out, because Luke is sleeping, and the last thing he wants to do is end up having to pay for that kid's therapy.

"Even if you putting a ring on it definitely deserves some celebration," he growls, nipping at Alex's earlobe as he pinches his hips.

[unendurable]

"You're not helping me not want you like this when you're doing that," he says in a low voice, grinning up at Michael as his hands slide over his chest and alone his stomach. "Maybe we should stop then."

Even as he says it though, he slides his fingers back up to Michael's chest, pressing the ring back to his chest, over his heart.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael lets out a disappointed sound, but he has some ideas, which means he can make this work. "Come on," he says, and bends, scritching at Alex's chest. "Let me carry you to the bedroom? I'm gonna give you a treat," he insists. "For dealing with my freakout and getting me a ring," he says, sitting up.

He's already thinking of how it'll look, dangling from his neck, hitting his bare chest once he strips off his t-shirt, making a mess of his hair.

[unendurable]

Fairly purring, arching up into Michael's touch. Closing his eyes and savoring the way Michael caresses him. "You don't owe me for that," he murmurs. "But I would love to be carried to the bedroom, and anything you have in mind."

Smiling even as he reaches for Michael. "I love being spoiled by my fiance, after all."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael grins as he lifts him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, patting his ass as they move. "Don't worry, I'm gonna keep it PG," he promises, checking that the door to Luke's room is closed (it is) and that Bopp is entertained (with her toy, she's fine), before bringing Alex to the bedroom.

He gets him laid out on the bed, sliding down all the way so that he can tug at the prosthetic and sock, gently prying them off. "On your stomach, private," he drawls, teasing.

[unendurable]

"Yeah, that's a fine start to pg," he laughs, but he loves it anyways. Even as he's moved through the house like that, toying with Michael's shirt, mostly because he can.

Sighing as Michael starts to undo his prosthetic, aching a bit as he shifts, reaching down to rub at the scarred part of his leg. Groaning from that touch, even as he stops and rolls over, just as Michael orders him too.

"I'm good at following orders."

[littleorphanalien]

He pries off the prosthetic and the sock, resting them in the holders he's built, and stripping off his shirt, loving the way the ring bounces against his chest as it settles. He presses a hand to it, over his heart, and takes a moment to appreciate Alex, and appreciate this.

It's such a damn relief, and he crawls back over onto the bed, resting on his haunches as he starts to massage Alex's thigh, above the stump. "Shout at me if it's too much, okay?"

[unendurable]

"Right. I'll get right on that."

Except the tone of his voice, the relief and the sigh he gives, proves it's not likely to happen. It all feels too good and he loves that touch as he cradles his head on his arm.

In truth, he loves when Michael touches him like this, loves that he takes care of him. It means the world to him, even if he doesn't always find words.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael takes his time digging his fingers into the tight muscles of Alex's knee and quads, working his thumb over the hamstring, pressing a kiss to Alex's neck, almost in apology, for just how tight it is on a normal day.

He can't imagine what it's like when he's really straining it.

As he works, the ring sways, bouncing back against his chest, and he's catching himself smiling like an idiot, loving the way it looks. "You know," he says quietly, staring at his scarred hand, next to Alex's scarred leg. "I never even thought twice about putting my hand on you. With others, I always tried to avoid it, but not with you. Never with you."

[unendurable]

Alex writhes a bit but he groans at the same time, murmuring softly for Michael not to stop. It just feels too good and he wants him to keep doing it. It hurts and yet he wants it not to stop. Not when the release from that touch feels so good.

Shifting, twisting to look back at Michael. Staring at him for the longest time before reaching out his hand for Michael's.

"We understand one another, that both of us have been through rough things but we'll always help one another through it." He still wishes someone could help Michael. Wishing someone could find a way to help heal it, even a little. Just enough that he isn't constantly in pain.

[littleorphanalien]

"You were there when it happened," he admits, his voice small as he stares at Alex. He's scared, yeah, and he knows that he's been scared of Jesse since it happened, but it's not like he has to hide it. It's why he's also never going to look at Alex's leg in any way other than in awe of how brave he is.

He still uses his good hand more, sliding his touch into something more gentle every time he finds a knot and loosens it. "How are you doing with Luke and seeing it?" he asks quietly, because it's not like he can hide the hand, but it's not like Luke has to see the prosthetic or the stump.

[unendurable]

"And I failed you," he whispers. "I will never forget that I didn't defend you, Michael. It's why..." Why he went away. To prove to himself he wasn't that person, and yet he had just failed Michael again and again.

"I've... kind of avoided it like the plague," he says softly. "Like I do with anyone but you seeing it," he admits. Which he hadn't thought of that, but it's true. He does hide it from anyone but Michael. Michael who he trusts will accept it no matter what.

[littleorphanalien]

"If I didn't defend you, then I would've felt like the one who failed you," Michael points out, still digging in as he moves his fingers up to work on Alex's glutes, eager to loosen them up and get him comfortable. He leans down to kiss the back of his neck.

"It's his home, just like it's ours," he says. "I want you to get to the point where you don't think you need to wear the prosthetic if you're just at home. Wear the sweatpants tied off, use the crutch, use me," he quips, because he'll never mind being used.

[unendurable]

"You saved my life, Michael. we both know that." And he truly believes that, and he knows that he would have been buried that summer if not for Michael. "And now you're taking care of me, and it feels so good and I love you," he sighs, closing his eyes as he savors Michael's careful touch.

"I know it is, I just don't want him uncomfortable. I don't like him having to think about me being blown up. I hate we think about it." And he thinks about it more often than he sometimes admits.

[littleorphanalien]

"I saved you once, from Jesse, but I couldn't keep you out of his house. You're the one who gave me a place to live, making sure he kept his hands off you was the least I could do," Michael insists, staring at Alex with a longing look.

They only had that summer and the few times in between, but now they have their whole lives.

"Then we talk to him," he insists. "Alex, I know how much wearing it can hurt you. I see how rubbed red it is at night. I'm worried," he insists, his eyes wide with it. "I'd much rather you use the crutch or my powers around the house. Please?" he begs. "If we have to barter and trade, I'll give you something in return, but I need you to think about it."

[unendurable]

He knows he's going to cry if Michael talks like that about what he's been through. He's never had anyone truly there for him. Except Michael. And while he didn't appreciate that before, he knows now and he won't ever waste that or ruin what he has again.

"You don't have to barter. I just... I want to make things easy on you and Luke, that's all. But if this means that much to you, I'll work on it, okay? I'll talk with Luke. I don't want you putting yourself out to help me though, okay? Unless I need help."

He knows there's time he will need more help but he worries about pushing Michael too far.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael gives him a nod, going back to massaging at the leg, curling his fingers into the muscles, trying to loosen them as much as he possibly can, kissing the shell of his ear as he works. "You know what Luke and I want? We want you to not be in pain," he says bluntly, because that's all they want.

"And that means not pushing yourself, not wearing the prosthetic at home. I'll get you some pre-tied sweatpants if you want," he offers, dragging the line of his thumb over the outside of Alex's thigh, squeezing his hip. "And Luke can help you deck out your crutches so they're, whatever the kids say now, bitching?"

[unendurable]

"Michael, you know that one way or another, I'm always going to be in pain. After a while, it's just all pain." Which isn't entirely true, but he's learned to compartmentalize it like he doesn't the PTSD from the incident, and from his childhood. All of it being different in one way or another.

"Let's do it then. The house is a prosthetic free zone in the evenings at least, okay?" He knows they'll be working from home, but he's not sure that he's ready for not being able to get up and do as much as they might need during the day.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's expression falls, because he doesn't want to think about the fact that Alex is always in pain, that no matter what he does, he's always going to hurt. It hurts to hear, and he's glad that he can shift a little in his massage, avoiding eye contact, because he doesn't want Alex to see that look on his face.

"Prosthetic free evenings," he agrees. "And if we want, we can work to set my hand, maybe," he suggests, because he knows he needs to be willing to do more, to make things even. "Maybe you'll even get massages every night too," he teases, squeezing his other glute.

[unendurable]

"Hey. No. Michael," he says, whimpering when Michael looks away. "Hey, I can live with it. I have you don't I?"

And that, to Alex, means the world.

"But we'll work on making it better, and I'll try and be more open about how I feel. Okay? Does that help?"

He groans at that touch. "I'd like that," he admits, knowing he has to be more honest about his pain and his needs instead of just being happy he has anything from Michael.