dated 7.29

[littleorphanalien]

One moment, he's at the shop holding a few cabin filters in his hand.

Then, they're on the ground. Michael blinks and stares down at them with confusion, bending to grab them and noticing that his shirt is suddenly fitting really strangely on him. It's too big and his hoodie isn't there, which is a problem when night rolls around and he's going to freeze because he hasn't got it. He collects the filters and sets them back on the shelf, seeing as he can't afford those (wishful thinking won't change that), and then heads outside.

That's when he sees two things.

One, this doesn't look like the hardware store in Roswell.

And two, his truck is missing.

It's the second one that's got him panicked. After all, that's not just his truck, that's his home, and even if he's been staying at the tool shed every now and again, that's not the kind of thing that he wants to start doing as a crutch. Grabbing at his hair, he tugs on it and starts pacing as he digs out his phone. Instantly, he calls Max, but gets a 'this user is not in service' message. Calling Isobel gets the same thing. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Did he hit his head? Did he go back to the fundamentalists and they gave him a concussion? He pages through his phone and sees a few things he doesn't understand.

One being a date in the calendar for tomorrow - Dinner with AM.

AM? Who's AM?

Then, he pulls up the chat history and sees a long one with the same AM, a history that looks more intimate than Michael's ever had with anyone. The only person he's ever even thought about like that has been Alex, but he's still kind of not sure what to do about that. As he goes through his phone, he finds an entry for Alex. His last shot, he dials, but this one doesn't disconnect.

This time, it rings.

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[littleorphanalien]

Alex is warm now, his body right up against Michael's. He always runs hot because of the alien thing, but now with Alex right here, he feels like he might singe through his t-shirt. He's breathing a little faster, and his breath catches when Alex suggests him staying at his place.

Would it be so different from his offer to stay at the shed? He honestly doesn't think so, but maybe that's the yearning, selfish voice in his head that wants it so badly.

"I mean, I guess if you're offering, I'd be pretty stupid not to agree," he says, feeling weirdly brave all of a sudden. Brave, and yet, stupid all at the same time. "I don't even have a wallet or keys on me," he admits, patting his back pocket and coming up empty other than a couple of bills (enough for the filters).

He doesn't give the picture back. He's staring at it, even though he glances up and does a double-take.

"Where's your piercing? Your nail polish?"

[unendurable]

Acutely aware of how warm Michael is, Alex resists the urge to lean in closer to Michael, wanting to press up against him. Wanting to kiss him, to just once feel if those lips are as plush as they look, if he tastes of hot as he feels.

His gaze drops, staring at Michael's mouth as he talks. "Just until we figure out where your truck is if you want," he says, glancing up at Michael's eyes and then down at his mouth once more. "Mine... these were on a table by the door. I was sitting on the bed working on my music," he says, because that is still utterly and totally normal from his life before.

But then Michael asks that question and Alex's hand jerks to his nose, pressing to his septum. "What? Where is it?" It doesn't even hurt to touch it, and he can't feel the holes that he's felt before changing out the jewelry. "Why would someone take that? Why?" Looking at his hand, his bare nails, before touching his earlobes. He hadn't done much gauging, but some, and the holes feel completely filled in now. At least shrunk to nearly normal side. "What the... How could someone... What?"

Confused now, losing that edge of control he'd had previously. The ID could be doctored, but this took time.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael keeps breathing steadily, like he's trying to stop himself from doing really stupid things. He'd panicked when Alex's name had come up, but then he'd started thinking about prom and Max and how if this were Max and Liz, he would've done something about it.

God, Michael wants to do something about it.

It's why he's so stupid as to slide the pad of his thumb over Alex's nose, just slightly, over the tip of it before he yanks his hand away like he's been burned, not entirely sure what compelled him to do that (desperation, need, want, like, love) but he keeps staring at him.

"I don't know what's going on, but I lost my truck and you're missing stuff and I was just on my way to the shed, I was...I had planned to stay the night," he admits. "Work on some homework. I mean, I know it's only June, but it's cold at night."

[unendurable]

It's not like they haven't technically touched one another before, but then with that touch to the tip of his nose and his nose wrinkled like a bunny's. Reaching up, rubbing at his nose as he stares at Michael, jaw hanging open for a long moment. He can't look away from him, stunned at the touch, but more so from his desperate desire for more.

Nodding though he doesn't close his lips completely, staring at Michael in utter confusion because he knows what he wants, but he's scared that he's going to make a fool of himself and make Michael bolt. They're in a strange place and the last thing he wants is Michael running off and ending up God knows where.

"It's likely to be cold here at night too. Chillier. Especially if that is..." He pulls out his phone to focus on that and not Michael's mouth. "That body of water, and this place... I don't recognize it," he admits. He's studied Geography though not that closely to coastal cities. "But I don't recognize any of this, and I can't pull up a distant map behind this one."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's mouth is open. Not much, but just enough that his tongue is peeking out as it rests against his lower lip, his gaze somewhat hooded as he stares at Alex's lips, sitting on his hand in case it decides to do other stupid things, like grope Alex's ass in public or dig into his hair and grab.

(It's missing the gel, too, but he doesn't say that because he just wants to touch it)

"Some kind of coast, yeah," he agrees. "Way more humid than Roswell ever was," he adds, and keeps nodding as he rubs his hand over his jeans again and again. Fuck, he's gonna stay at Alex's. "Where's your place? Should we go there? Is...is your Dad there? Or your brothers?"

[unendurable]

They are in a strange city, no idea how they got there, or how to get home. Enough money in this wallet that is apparently Alex's to get by. Unless whoever owns the apartment comes home. Then they'll be looking for a new place again. Until then though, it's as good a place as any to talk this out.

"I saw a laptop there. We can do some research, look into police, to information about where we are. Get something to eat," he says, rubbing his stomach and rolling his eyes. "No clue the last time I ate." Or Michael for that matter, but he's not going to point that out.

His nose wrinkles though. "And if they were, would I go back there?" Or take Michael. "All I saw was a laptop, some clothes in the closet, a bunch of dvds and on the table by the door where I found the wallet was a plant. I think it was bamboo. That's like all I saw."

He decides that's it, that's the plan. Standing up, he gives a jerk of his head. "Come on. Better than being out here in the open and not having a clue, right?"

[littleorphanalien]

He's still staring. At some point, Michael is going to need to stop, but until Alex tells him to fuck off or not to, then he's planning on letting his gaze stay fixed on the man in front of him. He tries not to sound too desperate and hopeful as he takes in a longing breath, getting to his feet.

"All right," he agrees, giving Alex a devil-may-care, careless grin. "Why not? What's the worst that could happen?"

He's going to an apartment with Alex Manes. He hasn't even asked if there's only the one bed, because he's assuming there'll be a couch and that's infinitely more comfortable than a sleeping bag in the back of his truck would ever be. Fuck, he also likes the take-charge thing and he feels a rush go through him.

Maybe, when they're there, maybe Michael can stop being a coward and can act on the thing he knows lives inside him. The thing that wanted to grab Alex and kiss him when he'd wiped his bleeding lip at prom or in class when he focuses on his paper, or how he looks in his visor. "Do you wanna, I don't know, stop and get some stuff for you?" he says, digging out the crumpled bills. "Eyeliner, nail polish..."

Acetone.

God, he could use some acetone.

[unendurable]

With that grin, Alex forgets everything. Where he is. What he's supposed to be doing. That everything in their life is wrong and weird and screwed up. He can only think about how good having that smile bestowed on him feels, and how it changes his whole expression.

He sways, aching to move closer, to take his hand, to kiss Michael and forget how weird this is because even weird is better than going home to his dad. Leaning into him, gaze focused but then reality breaks though, reminding him what a fool he's making of himself as he pulls back with a sharp intake.

His smile is soft, apologetic as he looks down and then back to Michael.

"You know according to horror movie logic, you shouldn't say that. The universe will prove just what the worst that can happen is."

Like Alex kissing Michael in the middle of the street and making a fool of himself and Michael storming off. Yeah, that would be worse.

That question though and he goes a bit pale, curling his hands in as if needing to hide the lack of polish on his nails, as if it's indecent. He looks about a bit furtive, paling as he leans in a bit closer to Michael.

"Be honest with me, Guerin. How bad do I look?"

Given the baggy close and makeup to stand out, he knows so much of it is armor, and he suddenly feels insanely naked and worried he looks like a twelve year old.

[littleorphanalien]

"Trust me, it can't be worse than some of my life," Michael deadpans, even though he doesn't want to get into it. He's still staring at Alex, like he can feel the energy between them as Alex sways, and he almost reaches out to stop him from moving back.

He doesn't. He panics, and he doesn't. Alex Manes has a habit of making Michael feel so nervous, like he doesn't know what to do.

Then, Alex asks that.

Oh, fuck, how honest should he be? He swallows hard and pretends it's just Isobel asking for an opinion on a dress. It's not, though. It's Alex and Michael hates secrets, even though he keeps so many of them. "You look great," he admits, his gaze sliding down to the tightness of the clothes. It's not his usual style, but, "Seriously," he insists. "Alex, you look incredible."

[unendurable]

Alex opens his mouth, pausing to think about the fact that even being seen having this talk with Michael could result in him being beaten black and blue and he closes his mouth. "You know," he says softly, looking down as he rubs his nose again, hating it's gone.

He realizes that he feels vulnerable and open and all those things he's worn as armor for so long are gone.

Except Michael says that and there is literally a sensation like sunlight warming him from the inside. Smiling as he lifts his head to meet Michael's gaze, sighing softly before clearing his throat, nodding at him. "I saw a drugstore on my way over here. We could stop there on the way and get snacks even," he says with a small smile. "I mean there's food but who knows what." Grown ups, right?

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's heart is pounding and he nods. "Yeah. Yeah! Let's do it," he agrees, so nervous and wishing he had his hoodie to shove his hands into, but it's probably too warm for that, so maybe it's for the best that he doesn't have it.

He starts walking in the direction Alex had said, ignoring how his arm brushes Alex's every once in a while, and how he's so close. "So uh, maybe I can just pop in and grab some stuff? You could tell me what you want, then I can get it, and you can maybe grab some drinks from the convenience store?"

That way, Michael can also buy the acetone, lube, and condoms he intends to without Alex seeing, because he has some plans now that the panic is clearing and what he wants sits in front of him.

[unendurable]

It's all casual. They're just walking. Trying to not whimper every time they touch, glad for the sound of the city to hide whatever sounds he might make. Stealing glances as they go, glancing sidelong at Michael and unable to help himself from grinning just being there with him.

So when Michael makes the offer, he nods. If nothing else, he utterly wants to grab breath mints and not seem like he's planning on kissing him the moment they're alone. Just that maybe he's not been wrong. Michael has totally been checking him out. He's sure of it. Even if he keeps getting glances of himself in the storefront windows and thinks Michael must like him, or he wouldn't think he looks good like this. Ugh, it's so bad. If nothing else, he's seen his hair!

"I just need gel, nail polish, probably remover because it chips, and eyeliner." Even as he says it, he pushes his fingers through his hair, trying to make it do something less gross.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael grabs the handle of the shop, yanks it open, and nearly throws himself into buying things. He grabs a basket and stuffs it with hair gel for himself, nail polish the color he thinks Alex likes, gel that looks decent, eyeliner, and then three bottles of remover, a package of condoms, and lube.

He also grabs a pack of gum, asking the guy to double bag it. After he pays (he still has some money left, which is weird and nice), he shifts the bag so the lube and condoms are on the bottom, heading back out to walk towards the convenience store, leaning against the wall and tapping his foot anxiously.

Sex with Alex Manes, that's in the cards now. The more he thinks about it, the more nervous he gets and not because he thinks he doesn't want it. He just knows that he does, and it'll be the first time he's ever had sex or kissed someone he likes.

When Alex comes back out, Michael holds up the bag proudly, giving that half-smile. "Lucked out, they had everything you needed," he says. "So uh, where's your place?"

[unendurable]

Alex wishes he had looked around the house more. Wishes he had looked into what was in the apartment, if there was anything to help them out. And if there was anything the guy who lives there had in case anything went beyond kissing.

Though he's assuming that he'll be lucky if Michael kisses him back, so he's not sure why he cares. So instead he grabs a few things, mostly snacks, and heads out to wait for Michael. Smiling widely when Michael comes out, holding up the back.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he says, giving a jerk of his head. "It's this. Whoever it belongs to. It can't be mine," he says. "Though I plan to keep it until someone throws me out," he admits, laying that out for Michael so he knows how this is going to go. Later he'll ask him to stay the night. Or until they get kicked out. Definitely until they get cooked out.

"But it's back down this way. Come on,' he says, shifting his back to the side away from Michael, heading that way.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael grips the bag tightly and keeps it on the side opposite Alex so it doesn't get in the way as he walks with him. He's still feeling kind of unnerved, not sure if he has clothes here or where his truck is, but Alex is here.

Not to mention, he kind of knows what he wants to do about it. "I tried to call my friends," he says, not his family, "but their numbers weren't working. Out of service. Wherever we are, it's not Roswell. Maybe," he jokes, "we fell into some kind of parallel universe?"

He stares at Alex longingly, thinking about crashing some man's apartment with him, making a little life. It might even be nice. "I'm really glad you're here," he mumbles, barely loud enough to be heard, but he needs Alex to know.

[unendurable]

It is kind of odd but he thinks about it as Michael called him, and he says he called his friends. He wishes he thought Michael thought of him that way. Maybe he does now as they're taking care of one another.

"The only number I had is yours, and I'm not calling anyone else." He wouldn't contact anybody in his family. Not if there's a chance this isn't Roswell. He glances sidelong at Michael though. "You know, that is possible, right? I mean, I believe it could happen."

He isn't sure if Michael will think he's stupid for believing that, but he does.

He hears those words though, slowing his step as he watches Michael more than watching. Stopping outside of the building, turning to face him, not wanting the words to be lost with getting into the apartment. "I know that feeling. When I saw you on the bench, I knew all of this would be okay."

It's such a heartfelt thing, and he feels his cheeks burning red as he jerks open the door, heading inside and to the apartment. The key on the ring opens the door easily.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael ducks his head down, and it's weird. It's like all the noise in his head kind of vanishes when Alex talks about not wanting to have called anyone else. "You believe in all that stuff?" he asks, about the parallel universes. "Should've known you took that job at the Emporium because you believe in little green men," he jokes.

He follows Alex inside the apartment and stares at how big it is. There's a plant and there's all the things Alex said. Nervously, he hitches the bag in his hands, then sets Alex's things, gesturing to the bathroom. "I'm just, I'm gonna..."

Then he vanishes, taking one of the bottles of acetone and chugging half of it back for courage (or to numb some of his worry). When he's used some toothpaste to get the taste out of his mouth, he opens the door and fiddles with the hem of his shirt, frowning as he sees all the grease stains on it, not to mention the holes in it.

"Does uh, are there spare shirts around?" he asks nervously. "This one's kind of toast, but maybe whoever owns this place has a t-shirt I could borrow and then wash and bring back later."

[unendurable]

He snorts, rolling his eyes as he closes the door and then takes time to lock it. They don't know where Jesse is, for one, and so he's not taking chances. "They're not green. If they're not looking like humans, they're grey, thank you," he says, proving that he actually does believe in those things. It wasn't just to avoid being anywhere near home. "It's egotistical to believe that we're the only beings in all of the universes. I mean, it's vast and huge and we have no idea how massive it is, how we could we believe that we're the only beings out there?"

He shrugs though, moving to set the wallet and keys by the bamboo plant without thinking. "I just don't get why they'd want to come to Earth."

Shaking his head as Michael goes into the bathroom, rummaging through the kitchen for ideas of what food there is. Mostly wetting his hands and spiky up his hair. Ugh, it looks so bad.

Turning back, he smiles, thinking about Michael stripping it off. "Come on. Let's rummage through the closet. Some of it looked old, but I'm sure we can find you something," he says, giving a jerk of his head and moving for the bathroom, trusting Michael to follow.

[littleorphanalien]

The way Michael looks at Alex as he talks about aliens is, for lack of a better word, besotted. It's the look of an alien hearing his crush talking about his existence and it pulls something out of him that he needed. "Maybe they found something they wanted to stay for. Or someone," he says, his eyes fixed on Alex a beat too long.

He laughs when he sees him using the water. "I put the gel and your things on the bathroom counter," he says, even though the smile is wiped from his face when a single drop of water slides over Alex's temple and he leans forward to brush it away.

Heart in his chest, he swallows hard, staring at him. "Anything better than what I've got. Flannel or plaid or something," he says, glancing down at his shirt. It's too big, making him feel like he's drowning in it, a kid in his father's clothes.

[unendurable]

Alex considers that for a moment before nodding. "True. I mean, if I came here, I would totally stay for the music if nothing else." If he hadn't met Michael. But he knows if he was an alien and he met Michael, he'd stay for him. It's a thought that sobers him, knowing that his crush runs so deep and realizing then how deeply.

It's easy giving up his family for someone else because his family sucks, but if he came all that way and met the boy in front of him? Yeah, he'd stay, even if he thought there was no hope.

Yet with that soft touch, Michael's fingers brushing at his temple sent shivers down his spin.

He should be finding Michael a shirt, helping him out, but after that touch, the way he keeps looking at Alex, and he can't help himself. Turning there in the hallway, facing Michael with a look of such absolute desperation.

"Guerin," he says, frowning slightly as he just barely shakes his head as he closed the small gap between them. Licking his lips, and then whispering softly, "Michael." Even as he leans in, his gaze dropping to Michael's mouth a moment before raising to his eyes once more.

Shifting closer, unable to help himself though he's hesitant, never having kissed a guy before, worrying Guerin will pull away as Alex tries to kiss him. His heart racing, fearing that Michael will jerk back, will hit him. Or worse, laugh at him. He thinks Michael's into him too but then he thought Valenti was his best friend so...

[littleorphanalien]

Every single hair on Michael's body stands on end, he's pretty sure. His heart races fast and he stares at him longingly, wanting so badly to keep talking about aliens or touching Alex's temple, but he can't do anything other than stare at him.

Right up until the moment that Alex looks at his eyes and every single panicked nerve in his body sings. He freezes up. He doesn't want to, but he does, if only because this moment is so huge and he wants to remember it forever.

He rests his hand on Alex's elbow and pulls him in before he can back away, and he does ease back, only a little before Alex can kiss him, but only so Michael can rest his eyes on his lips, so he can say what he wants to say.

"I've wanted to kiss you since junior year," he says, and his lips curve up just the smallest bit, eyes full of hope and worry, "That is what we're doing, right? We're not just really close talking?" he asks, and he might be rambling, which means that he might need someone to shut him up.

[unendurable]

Frowning because that touch says one thing but then Michael is learning away and he isn't sure what is going on here. Fearing some sort of kind word telling him that he likes him but not like that like him, and he's going to lock himself in the bathroom and never come out if that happens. God, he can already feel that tension around his eyes where he wants to cry because he took this chance and was he wrong?

"I was trying to," he murmurs softly, frowning a bit though he looks more amused than upset. "Then pulled away," he notes, even as Alex presses in closer, sliding his hand over Michael's chest, encouraged by his words. Fingers tracing up his chest, skimming lightly over his neck before cupping his cheek.

Moving slowly as he leans in, wanting to savor this because he's wanted this as long as Michael has. Eyes closing as his lips brush Michael's, unable to help the soft sound of pleasure that rumbles through him just at that tiny kiss.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael leans in for that first kiss, cupping Alex's cheeks and leaning in for a moment before he backs away. His lips curve up, his eyes are half-lidded, and he can't help feeling right. That's when he lets his body operate on auto-pilot, drifting forward as he slides his hands to Alex's waist, grabbing hold of him so he can lean in for less of a short kiss.

He breathes out Alex's name when he does, in disbelief and awe and wonder, because he really never thought that'd get this. He thought he'd freak out or something would come up, like Isobel at prom, but here they are crashing in someone's apartment and they're kissing.

He's kissing Alex Manes.

At least, until he's not. He eases back and sighs with happiness, biting his lip as he lets out a nervous laugh. "I've never..."

[unendurable]

It's a soft kiss, almost chaste, and it's everything Alex has wanted for longer than he can remember. His first kiss, and it's with a guy that he's just slowly fallen for, caught up in watching him in class, and lying in his room, knowing he's in the shed, feeling that it's just good to be that close, and now they're here. In this odd, strong place, in someone's apartment, alone, with Michael. Without Jesse. This is literally everything that Alex could ever want.

Until he hears his name on Michael's lips like that and his knees buckle. Groaning as he presses in close to Michael, clinging to him as both hands grip the front of Michael's shirt, the one they're supposed to be replacing.

"I haven't either,' he whispers, unable to really even blink, just staring at Michael and lost in even had those kisses. "But I've wanted to kiss you for longer than I can remember. I couldn't believe when you called me."

That they're there together, he is realizing, is meant to be. He can't see it any other way.

[littleorphanalien]

It's not something he's ever acknowledge, but he thinks he's in love with Alex. He knows that he feels things for him that he's never felt for anyone else, that he doesn't like anyone the way he likes Alex, and that he thinks it definitely runs deeper.

The question is, now, do they keep kissing or do they do something else next? He really thinks it's the something else. He steps back, only enough so he can get Alex's hands off his shirt, breathing in a few times before he strips it off.

He lets out his breath shakily, staring at Alex as he holds the shirt in his hands, standing there with his hair a mess, and a wild and joyful look in his eyes. "You were in my phone and there was this conversation," he admits. "Alex, I don't remember saying some of those things to you, but they sounded like..."

Like someone who'd been dating him, not the person he thinks he is.