(no subject)

[littleorphanalien]

Michael's alive with energy by the time he gets home.

He's met another alien, there's a spaceship in town, and he's got a challenge facing him to help with the engine. That's not what's making him feel so exhilarated, though. It's that the Doctor offered him help in return, but Michael hadn't even hesitated to say that he didn't want it, realizing that it was true. He's giddy as he strolls in, dropping his keys in a bowl by the door. "Hey, Alex!" he calls out, "I'm home!"

He heads into the closet to try and find his toolbox, searching for his materials, forgetting where he'd put the welding torch.

Grabbing it, he whistles as he heads out to the Airstream to add the things, heading back inside so he can find Alex, every part of him giddy and bouncing as he seeks out Alex, eager to tell him about the epiphany he'd had. Finally, he finds Alex, and drops the toolbox. "Guess who I met today?" he teases, squeezing his shoulders as he sprawls on the couch, digging out his acetone flask to take a sip from it.

Comments

[littleorphanalien]

"Yeah," Michael agrees, sitting forward with his forearms on his thighs, staring at Alex, his eyes sparkling the way they do when he's got a problem. "It was a blue box, really weird shit," he admits, scoffing as he shakes his head. "The temporal dynamics it must have..."

He's in awe, honestly.

Then, Alex asks about why he said no, and he shrugs, like it's the easiest answer in the world. "Well, yeah," he deadpans. "Why wouldn't I say no? I don't want to go anywhere."

[unendurable]

"Okay, one, it's means Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's called a TARDIS, and you the chameleon circuit is borked, and if they can trap the TARDIS here with the Doctor, then we're all screwed. Well those trying to get out." Which he never wants to do. "What was he wearing?"

He's positively having issues again. So many times this place leaves him positively lost because how? How even.

"Well, I mean, then you didn't have..." It's the Doctor. If anyone can figure out where Michael's from and get him there, it's the Doctor, isn't it.

[littleorphanalien]

"Yeah, he called it that too," Michael agrees, already checking on his wrench and screwdriver, though he peers at Alex. "Wait, is this another one of those things or people I should know?" He should know them, but he doesn't, he just knows that it's a spaceship and he was inside it. "It was like, black jacket? Black shirt? White hair, Scottish," he describes, gesturing to his face.

He frowns, though, when Alex trails off.

"Didn't have what?"

[unendurable]

"It's an alien you wouldn't have paid attention to much. Like the movies from the drive in," he says, having picked up by now that Michael didn't pay much attention to alien media. "I just... I can't," he says, shaking his head, because every thing he ever thought was fiction is true. Just so long as you're in the right world. He's been so good about it with those he's met, using the knowledge he has from their media as fact and it's worked. It's been understood and he just accepts that. Except when he's freaking out to Michael.

"Twelve. Holy shit." He smirks a bit. "Good thing it wasn't Ten. You and he would have a fight over the wildest hair," he says with a smirk.

"You didn't have a ship. Not one capable of traveling through, literally, time and space. Or someone that could probably tell you what planet you're from."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael makes a face, not sure he has to remind Alex that he usually hates how those movies and television shows go, since alien invasions aren't usually treated as welcome visitors so much as invading assholes who need to be put down.

Still, Alex's delight is clear and Michael kind of loves it. "He said the Doctor, not Twelve," he corrects, not sure what hair has to do with it.

And besides, then Alex says that the reason he's not going is because he doesn't have a ship. "Uh," he manages, a little defensive, because doesn't Alex know this? "It's not because I don't have a ship, it's because I don't want to go," he says, a little firmer this time.

[unendurable]

"I can understand not watching the Doctor," he admits. "While he's shown good as an alien, not all the aliens are. Though lets be really, isn't that how humans are?"

He's lived his life facing the worst and darkest of humans. Between family and war, he's known a lot of horrible humans.

"They regenerate," he says, nodding thinking about that. "The start to die and come back different but the same. Black suit, older, white hair is the twelfth time he's regenerated. Well except the ways it got changed, but I assume that's poetic license, because I'm starting to believe that most of those things we considered fiction are just those from places like this telling other people's stories. At least that's been my theory for a while now."

Since he had met several from what he considered the Star Wars verse he had been working on this theory in his head.

Alex knows he's said something wrong, and he realizes he needs to get to the point where he can keep his insecurities to himself. Even if that's the opposite of what therapy has told them, taught them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's my own..." He gestures at his chest, at himself, and then he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Michael. It's just me. I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry."

[littleorphanalien]

"Aren't you glad I don't regenerate?" he teases, leaning forward to kiss Alex with a dart of a thing, teasing him without really doing much else other than nipping at his lower lip, before sinking back, wondering what he would look like, if he did.

Then, though, Alex starts talking about not meaning things, and it's not right.

"Alex," he says, evenly. "You did mean something by it," he points out, because he wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. "What did you mean?"

[unendurable]

"I'd still love you even if you did," he says softly. "Even if you were a ginger, or a woman," he says, knowing that will mean nothing to Michael but he reaches for Michael, pulling him in close.

It's not easy talking about this because as much as he's gotten through in therapy, it's still not easy for him. Because of how he still sees himself sometimes.

"But I didn't mean anything about you. It's me. It's... hard to believe I compete with the universe. With all the universes out there. And it's because of how sometimes it's still hard for me to believe you're my life, that you want me that much."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael doesn't get it, which leaves him squinting at Alex in disbelief, because he is very sure that Alex wouldn't love him the same if he were a woman. Ginger? Maybe. Not the rest, though.

He reaches for Alex's hands, setting the tools aside. "The vast unknown and a planet that might be destroyed versus a man who loves me for everything I am, even the worst parts of me," he points out. "You're right. It's not even close to a competition. You're better than the universe."

[unendurable]

"One day I'm going to make you watch all of the things based on people we've met here," he vows, he has no choice but to try and show Michael why he acts like this sometimes.

"Including the worst parts," he says. "Not even. It's all you and I love it." He ducks his head though, blushing. "I... It blows me away you believe that. And I do believe you feel that way. It's just so much to take in. I don't... I guess I don't think of myself the same way. Now more than before though."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael is amused, because, "Good luck finding that here," he teases, but presses a kiss to his cheek and grabs at his hands to tug him back to the couch. Clearly, this is one of those airing their shit moments, and he wants to be facing Alex to do it.

"Alex, when I took apart the ship to make your prosthetic, that wasn't something I did lightly," he says. "When I was seventeen or twenty-seven, yeah, I wanted to fly home. Now I know that my family isn't waiting out there for me. They were in Caulfield," he says, and takes Alex's hand to press over Alex's heart with his own, "and now they're here. Okay? I don't want an alien to show me how to fix my ship and go, cuz there's nothing out there for me, not like there is here."

[unendurable]

He knows he won't find them since he's bought so many different things for Luke's room based on the media he's known and loved. It's not the same, but that doesn't change he would love to share those things with Michael.

Alex looks down at their hands and then up at Michael's eyes. He feels the tears he still feels from all Michael lost in Caulfield, things that were their last memories before this place.

"You know it's that I don't trust you, right? It's... sometimes I can't imagine how I can possible be enough. And it's not even all the time, Michael. Just... the past creeps in." Years of being told how much of a failure he is. Most of the time his time in the military and their time together is enough to combat the years of abuse. Sometimes though he wonders how he can be enough.

"I'll get past it, Michael. I promise. Just... I don't know. Sudden fear took over. I'm sorry." He tenses, even as he leans in closer to Michael.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael knows that these moments are the crucial ones that he needs to watch and make sure that Alex doesn't drift away. He's scared, a little, but he holds on. "Alex, you are the sweetest, smartest, kindest, bravest man I know, and your heart is the best thing about you. You have faith in everyone, including me, even when I was giving you no reason to."

"So you were scared of your Dad. I get it. I was, too," Michael admits quietly. "You don't have to get past it alone, that's my point."

[unendurable]

"I... Sometimes I think about things he said. All my life. And I start thinking maybe he wasn't wrong. Which I know is stupid, okay? I do. It's just sometimes..."

He shrugs. He's done so well. For months. Being out of Roswell, with Michael, has done so much for him. Yet in a moment the fears welled up, that he wasn't good enough, that he wasn't worth shit if he wasn't what a Manes man should be. He doesn't believe it, but that doesn't always stop him from those fears nonetheless.

"Shouldn't I, though? I don't want things he said to screw us up now."

[littleorphanalien]

"He was wrong," Michael tells him. "Your father was a monster. He thought the aliens were, but it was always him." He turns their hands and shows Alex his hand, the damage, and it's awful, but he needs to do this. "He did this because he hated us, together, he hated that, but it was just a human fear."

He pulls Alex towards him, just a little more.

"They're not gonna screw us up," he vows. "Alex, you're not gonna be a Manes anymore soon," he reminds him. "Soon, you're gonna be a Guerin. We'll start our own family. And you'll be your own man, not your Dad's."

[unendurable]

Alex whimpers, because when he's in this place mentally and thinking about his dad, and seeing Michael's hand and it's all almost too much. Wrapping his arms around Michael's neck, pulling him in close and clinging to him, holding him tight.

"I can't wait for that. I'm sorry. It's good you have someone you can help, to work on a ship like that. I'm just..." It was like the night Michael's ship crashed in Darrow, and he had been so sure it was the opening Michael needed.

He's okay with being the consolation prize. He can accept that. It's just there's a lot of fear he's just an until thing. Why would he be more?

"I am my own man. I swear I am. I just..." He shakes his head, worrying he's upsetting Michael more if he keeps taking. "It's okay. I promise. I'll be fine."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael shifts to grab Alex as close to him as he can, not liking that Alex is putting him back into this place, all because Michael's taking on a project. "You're just what," he prods, trying so hard not to sound defensive and angry.

He's trying to get them to talk, really talk.

"You just...Alex, talk to me," he pleads, squeezing his hands. "Please. I don't wanna go into this marriage with any secrets."

[unendurable]

"Michael, I'm being an idiot, okay? I know that. I just... I reacted and now I just feel like an idiot for it." For ruining Michael's fun. For being the guy that can't get past the things said to him over a decade or more ago. For being broken and pathetic and he hates he acted that way.

"There aren't any secrets, Michael. You know the things he said to me, and you know that I just... I'm the one that hasn't gotten over them. That's on me," he points out, shaking his head. First when Michael found his ship, now this. He does a bang up job of just ruining things for Michael.

"It's my fault I still think I'm not enough, Michael. That's something I have to work through and stop hurting you because of it." He pauses, and then can't help but ask as he pales, clinging to Michael's hands as if he's the one to leave and not Alex's MO. "If... you didn't mean that as in if I can't work through this now the weddings off, did you?"

[littleorphanalien]

Michael eases back so that he can look at Alex while they talk. It means a lot to be able to see his face and his eyes, because they're always so expressive and honest. "You're not being an idiot, because if it's the way you feel, then it's not stupid," he replies, as calmly as he possibly can, not ready to let Alex talk about himself like that.

"We are getting hitched, no matter what," Michael tells him. "We're both messed up. I still am too, you know that," he says, a little more subdued. "I just wanna make sure we're not falling into our old traps. You are enough, for me, Alex, and since I love you and am marrying you, maybe my opinion gets to matter more than your Dad's now?"

It's a tentative question, a hope more than anything.

[unendurable]

"It is though," he says, looking so hurt and shaking his head. "Because I know you're not going anywhere," he says, sounding determined as he puts his hand to his heart. "I know here that you are one hundred percent here and going nowhere. Just sometimes..." He taps his temple and sighs.

"Yes! Michael, yes," he says, grabbing him and clinging to him. "You are the most important thing in my life, Michael. I'm not going anywhere. I'm marrying you and changing my name to Guerin and I am yours, Michael. Always. And I'm trying. I swear I am. I will do better. Promise."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael presses a kiss to the hand over his heart, lifting it up so he can, staring at him with adoration because he loves this man. "I'm sticking around, Alex, and I'll give up every last piece of the ship to prove it to you if I have to."

So far, he's been using it for other things, but he would.

For Alex, he would.

"You don't need to do better," he whispers. "You're already the best man I know."

[unendurable]

He nearly smiles then, feeling teary and so in love and wanting to make everything perfect for Michael, everything he could for him.

"I know you are, and you shouldn't have to. I mean, they're for the drones and that's not giving it up that's selling it but still," he says softly, knowing that's not the point.

"I trust you, Michael. I truly do. I'm learning to believe in me and most days I don't even think about these things. I want you to know that I'm happy you've met another alien. That's the important part right now."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael leans in so he can kiss Alex, hard as he can, wanting him to feel how absolutely adored he is. Because he is. There isn't anyone in the world that Michael loves more than him, and he would do absolutely anything for him.

"I'm happy too, and I'm excited for the challenge so I can keep my mind active," he says, stroking Alex's cheek. "But I'm even more excited to get to come home and ramble to you about spaceship engines, after we have dinner with Luke."

[unendurable]

Clinging to Michael, kissing him back just as hard. Needing Michael to know he loves him, that no matter what he's here for Michael and not going anywhere. It's part of what he's trying to show him. Holding him tight and not backing away. It seems so smile and yet it's him trying to give Michael that reassurance that he's not going anywhere.

"Good. I'm glad," he says, nodding. "I want that for you, Michael. I want you to do the things you love," he says. "I want you to be happy."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael grins as he hears Alex give him that confirmation, and he leans in to kiss him, pressing him down against the cushions as he cups the back of his neck. "I love you," he whispers. "And I want to do you, all the time, because I love you."

Easing back, he gives Alex a curious look. "So, this guy is a television person? I should've known about him?"

[unendurable]

Keeping Michael close, not wanting to let him go as he lays back on the couch, pulling Michael in with him to kiss him tenderly. "Is that so? It's not just because I'm sexy and you're sexier?"

He pauses at that, considering. "I'm beginning to think a lot of television and movie people are stories told from places like this, Michael. Someone like us learning of these people and making movies about them when they go home," he says, sharing the theory he's been considering. "And yeah. A British show named after him. Doctor Who."

[littleorphanalien]

"I definitely don't remember winning that contest," Michael protests with a scoff, shaking his head as he stares at Alex and leans in to press another soft kiss to his lips. "So, what? If this alien is fake, does that mean I am? Is the Roswell crash just some kind of television show for other people?"

"Or am I just some sad made-for-TV lifetime movie?" He leans in to kiss Alex again, gently teasing, but, "Or maybe we're just some alien Romeo and Juliet."

[unendurable]

"Oh yeah. I held the competition and was the one and only voter. I was going to make you a ribbon or a medal or something but I figured you wouldn't wear it," he teases despite trying to sound solemn and serious about it.

"No, you're not fake, Michael. You live in our world, and you are real and whole and real," he says, because he's not teasing about this. "But what's to stop, say Caleb? When he gets back to his world to not write up our life as a movie? Or us telling Magnus and Alec's life in our world? They're real in their world, and in Darrow, but could end up a story in someone else's world. It's possible."

It makes the most sense to him about how it is he has known so many people in this place.

[littleorphanalien]

Michael kind of likes thinking about it like that. In his opinion, their story is worth being told, so to have it put like that makes him glow with delight, cupping Alex's neck as he holds onto him, pressing their foreheads together.

"Want me to see if I can get you a sneak peek at someone else's alien ship? I failed doing that with the bird-one, the Falcon thing?"

[unendurable]

"It's not a bird," he groans, but he's smiling as he leans into Michael, stroking his hands over his chest. "And an inside view to the Tardis? Uhmmm, yeah. I'll even behave and not creep him out by knowing him. I think I did that to Kylo Ren, who totally deserved it."

Because he had been in Darrow when how his life had changed in the last story given.

[littleorphanalien]

He knows it's not a bird, but honestly, at this point, he's just enjoying getting a rise out of Alex by acting like he's stupid about that sort of thing, even though he really isn't. "I'll go ahead and ask the weird alien if he's okay with me bringing my fiance around."

"Oh," he adds. "Speaking of you and things I volunteered you for. There was a girl at the music shop, I offered you for guitar lessons. She's apparently terrible, I told her you'd have no issue."

[unendurable]

"Oh. My. God. Do not call the Doctor weird," he says, giving Michael exactly that rise he was looking for. "He's brilliant and dealt with a lot. Least it's not the Master, or the Romana. Though I mean, this one Master, if he's the same in real life, was brilliant," he says, thinking about the Master and the Tenth Doctor.

Alex laughs, giving Michael a look. "I haven't taught anyone since you," he points out. "Wait, you were at the music shop? Did I get a present?" He smirks at that, leaning in to kiss Michael. "But you're right. I have no issue with that."

[littleorphanalien]

Michael squints at him, because as far as he'd been concerned, he was weird. That's not in question, is it? If it isn't, then he's not sure what Alex considers weird. Hell, he and Max and Isobel are pretty weird, as far as he's concerned.

"You do get a present," he says with a huff of laughter, patting Alex's leg as he rises up to get the guitar picks and the tuning kit. "Not very exciting, but I noticed you needed it."

[unendurable]

"Don't look at me like that. You literally move things with your mind and Max shorted out a town because he got a boner. Don't act like he's weird." He's grinning though, unable to help himself and more amused than he likely should be.

Grinning though at that, smiling and looking smug. "It is exciting. Because you knew I needed them and got them for me. That, to me? Is important and exciting and thank you."

[littleorphanalien]

"Aren't you lucky I don't move things when you turn me on," he teases, and laughs at the reminder of what Max can do. He grins as he sees that smug smile on Alex's face, and it's worth every penny, and also any doubts he'd had about wandering in there with his hand the way it is.

"And of course I got em for you. We're partners, right? I gotta notice that about you."

[unendurable]

Alex laughs, thinking about that possibility. "We would be ruining a lot of rooms and things if you did that given how much I turn you on," he teases, loving the play between them and how much fun they have. They have grown so much and he loves it that they've come so far.

"We are, but it's just..." He smiles, shrugging. "I love that you do things for me, and it means a lot to me." He's always been the one doing for himself, and so he loves having someone that does that for him. "Partners. I like that."

[littleorphanalien]

"I'm not planning on stopping," Michael informs him, and he's happy to be able to promise Alex that. He presses the picks into his palm, closes it around them, and then leans in to kiss him. "Partners for the rest of our lives," is serious, and he eases back.

"I gotta head back, work on the ship. I'll see you later, okay?"

[unendurable]

"For the rest of our lives," he says with a nod, kissing Michael tenderly. "Go and have fun. I'll see you later with dinner. Which means don't vanish like you did when the ship crashed."

He trusts Michael will as he gives him a nudge for the door, knowing now that they will always work things out.