The moment he mentions that morning, Alex tenses. He screwed everything up, never got a chance to explain. Not that he had handled it well either. He could have said it and not just agreed it would be bad. Because that wasn't entirely true. It's not that it "would" be bad but that it could.
He holds Michael's hand tightly, looking down, trying not to feel the pain and panic he had that morning.
Drawing a breath, he raises his gaze and looks at Michael.
"You asked if it would be bad, and no. Being with you isn't bad. People knowing isn't bad," he says, given that everyone in this place knows about them. They don't hide it. "I was so scared that I couldn't protect you anymore than I had when we were kids, and I... I panicked thinking about her knowing, and if it got back to Jesse. I'd already failed you,' he pointed out. "What was I going to do if he came for you again? I was so scared about anyone knowing because he knew so much about the town and what was going on in it and... and I love you so much."
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Date: 2020-06-18 03:01 am (UTC)He holds Michael's hand tightly, looking down, trying not to feel the pain and panic he had that morning.
Drawing a breath, he raises his gaze and looks at Michael.
"You asked if it would be bad, and no. Being with you isn't bad. People knowing isn't bad," he says, given that everyone in this place knows about them. They don't hide it. "I was so scared that I couldn't protect you anymore than I had when we were kids, and I... I panicked thinking about her knowing, and if it got back to Jesse. I'd already failed you,' he pointed out. "What was I going to do if he came for you again? I was so scared about anyone knowing because he knew so much about the town and what was going on in it and... and I love you so much."